country road, take me home to the place i belong, west virginia, mountain mama, take me home, country road...

tonight after church, the room was kind of a-flutter with activity... people, grouped up in small groups sharing life with each other... talking about the things that are going on in their lives and praying together... it's one of my favorite things about church...

tonight was different, though... i ended up sitting next to chris and everyone else was in groups... he grabbed a guitar and started playing songs from the days at central... songs that have a lot of memories tied in with them... some of my favorite songs... songs that remind me of a time when faith seemed more simple and also more complex...

obedience always seemed so easy back then... and at the same time, i think i made some things way more complicated than they needed to be... trying to put on my game face because i would think that's what everyone wanted to see...

now, for me, sometimes i think the thing people most need to see are the places where i am vulnerable... the places that make me real... not the mask... one of the songs we sang was "find me in the river" - and it always brings tears to my eyes when i sing it... "find me in the river, find me there, find me on my knees with my soul laid bare, even though you're gone and i'm cracked and dry, find me in the river... i'm waiting here."

i do feel a bit cracked and dry lately... like i'm not where i need to be... i don't put on the game face with the people i go to church with... but sometimes, i don't expose my true vulnerability... i remain quiet, thinking it's easier not to open up than to show all the junk... to admit that sometimes i hurt and feel lonely... that i mess up and make mistakes... that i'm not perfect.

then, after we sang some of those, chris got out the 12-string and started playing john denver songs... and there's something about the chorus of "take me home, country road" that gets me... no clue what it is... but it gets to me... i love it... i love the thought of going home... and the idea that seems to follow the song that he's going home to someone...

i know these thoughts are disjointed somewhat... i really just needed to write again... i like it being a part of my routine... and i need to practice... because right now it's all a little messy.

1) tina fey is my hero... 2) josh groban is working his way up the list...

so i was at home... instead of doing laundry, i watched the emmy's... occasionally, during breaks, i cleaned...

at least i got one thing quasi-accomplished...

here are my thoughts...

i loved the josh groban singing 30 theme song bit... my favorite was the transition from "we finally got a piece of the pie..." to "i'll be ready..." complete with the dramatic slo-mo-ish baywatch lifeguard re-enactment...

i also loved tina fey's quote in one of her acceptance speeches - "i thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities. well done." whatever... she's hilarious... 

i wondered how kathy griffin could possibly be upstaged/considered normal and appropriate... enter: don rickles... seriously.

p.s. the weekend was fabulous... i was really excited about asu winning another game... now... we need to beat memphis next weekend... it was great to spend time with friends... i laughed a lot... and realized how great my friends are... i would totally back them up in a fist fight if i needed to... i'm just saying. 

he said, 'it's all in your head,' and i said, 'so's everything,' but he didn't get it...

my life is busy. i hate to say that... but it just is... i have some great stories to tell, but tonight, i'm opting for sleep over stopping to write them out...

it's all in my head, so hopefully, someday i'll have an opportunity to share...

until then, dear friends, be well.

i was right...

last night was incredible...

thank you, as always, christ church for being who you are...

i need you...

haha - you need me, too...

tuesday night's plastic corrosion awareness meeting, was i think, a big success.

today has been a day... to say the least... i'm worn out and the day isn't over...

luckily, tonight is a tuesday night... and that means i get to spend some precious time with some of the most precious people i've ever known...

it will be good...

i'm ready...

then the clouds opened up and God said, "I hate you, Alfalfa!"

i guess God is the best prankster...

i hate being up early in the morning... if i've stayed up late and know that i can sleep all day, it's one thing... but when i have to get up and go to work at 5:00 a.m., i pretty much hate life... i don't sleep well, if at all, the night before most of the time... and last night was no different...

i slept less than an hour at one point and woke up about 1 a.m. or so... it's all kind of a blur... and i slept from about 3:00 until 4:45, i think... at 4:45, i got up, dressed for work and walked out the door at 4:55, which is plenty of time for me to get to work...

the weather was bad last night... a lot of lightning and thunder and really heavy rains and evidently pretty strong winds... 

i walked downstairs and through sleepy eyes, this is what i see...

i thought i might be able to get out, but to no avail...

Never fear, someone came to pick me up for work, so i made it... but it was one of those things that i thought, "really, did this happen to me?" another great story...

btw... the dumpster traveled about 50-60 feet... luckily it didn't hit my car... 

connected...

a couple of my friends asked if i wanted to get lunch... they suggested layla's - the greek restaurant close to sbux... i didn't really feel like greek food today, but decided it was an okay option... i would just get pizza...

the owners of layla's love americanos from sbux, so when we got to layla's, i asked them if they wanted anything from sbux and the lady did...

i walked over to sbux and got one of my friends to give me a tall americano... i took it back over to layla's, gave it to the lady, sat down with my friends, ordered and ate lunch... it was great food, but i had more than enough left over... i asked for a box, knowing full well that i hate leftovers and that the pizza would probably go bad before i would think about eating the rest of it... 

then, i found out that they weren't going to charge me for my lunch because of my efforts in bringing them coffee...

i left all the cash i had with me for a tip (about $3.75) and then took my leftovers and walked out... i went back to sbux to get something to drink... i'm stuck on this new drink and i'm trying to figure out how to tweak it to make it perfect...

and then i realized that 2 of the girls who are working now have been talking about food... so i offer them my leftovers... and they ask if i want something to drink... since i've given them my leftovers, they give me my drink as a partner beverage... (cost = $0)

it totally made me feel connected... by 2:00 this afternoon, i was well-fed and full of caffeine... all at no cost to me... except my tip - which was just more to be nice than anything... i felt so cool... (for the record... i know i'm not... i just loved the way it all worked out...)

the barter system could really work...